Thursday, December 26, 2002

Romance novel number THREE is now nearly one hundred pages underway. I had never felt like a criminal in a bookstore until today. I was very "mission impossible" through the aisles, in search of this heroinesque author that carey has me hooked on. (As in trainspotting, not as in powerful female lead.)

My feet are cold and my fingers are cold, and the only appealing activity for the afternoon is going back downstairs and reading with the backdrop of Kingdom Hearts... oh the joys of new gaming systems for christmas.

I miss my friends. I miss my bed. At least I'm not to the point of missing the shower that doesn't drain...

Wishing everyone else a boring and unfulfilling holiday... (This entry is sounding a bit like Carey's from the other night)

Heather at 12:15 PM


Wednesday, December 25, 2002

Merry Christmas all, even though that seems like a rather cheesy thing to put in one's blog.

All is well in Tennessee; we even got a dusting of snow this morning. So brief that if you blinked you might miss it, but it was snow none the less. I've spent the majority of the holiday with my nose in a book, but that's the glory of having friends like Carey who can pinpoint one's literary needs in 2.4 seconds. I'm high on a cloud of words and literary oral sex and overall smutty reading. Sometimes there is more to life than "good" books.

I'm continually bouncing back and forth between feeling like I'm having an overdose of human interaction and a lack of human interaction. I suspect that much of this is because my true reality for now has been shaped by the few moments that I've been looking up from my book. Now that the book is over things should level off... until I find the next book.

Heather at 4:41 PM


Monday, December 23, 2002

HUGE email mishap. I would fill everyone in on the gory details, but I don't particularly want to get sued for slander. Suffice it to say that I can no longer be reached through AOL in any way, shape, or form. Please email me in the future at

Hope everyone is having a happy and fulfilling holiday.

Heather at 8:17 PM


Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Again, I cannot help but change the template. Maybe I'll stick with this one for a while. Can you tell how boring and unfulfilling my life is?

Finally got asked to help with the little Christmas skit that is being put on on Friday at the VERY last minute. I can't think of a single more obnoxious thing in the world. I can picture Mr. Liddell in his office saying, "Drama teacher? We have a Drama teacher? Oh yeah, I vaguely remember hiring her... She's still here?" So now I have two days to throw something together from a project that has been all but discarded by everyone else in the school. But watching the kids try to practice today let me know that if I really want to have a "real" play sometime in the future, it could totally happen. That is, if the overachiever kids in the school that are already entirely overcommitted could find time in their busy schedules...

I'm supposed to be over at Carey's right now, but I'm a terrible friend, so I'm not. A phone conversation with Amber kind of got in the way, but the real reason is that I'm just not in the mood to drive to Indianola and then have to turn around and come back home. I'm too tired to do much of anything except sit here and type, which reminds me... Isn't that what I spent my entire day at school doing? Oh yeah, I squeezed some grading in there, too, for the overly grade conscious kids that simply HAD to know their exam grade the minute they turned it in. God bless multiple choice.

Heather at 4:59 PM


Monday, December 16, 2002

Anya, what have you done to me??? I'm a template changing fool! Love ya, sweetie. Have you checked out

Heather at 7:58 PM


When the world gives you a sucky blog, you make blogonade, right?

I've dealt with the fact that sometimes the most creative, perfectly worded entries are better left erased and forgotten. Nobody really cares all that much about what may or may not happenned this weekend. Those who matter have heard the story at least once (except maybe Carey), and poor John has heard it at least five times. Sometimes catharsis comes with losing things that you thought were important... like your mind.

Today was incredibly grueling and long. Teach, teach, teach, type, type, type. I find it hard to believe that I spent hours and hours writing something that will only be seen by a handful of ungreatful high school students. Exam time makes me almost as stressed as it makes them. But when you get a couple of glances during the day that remind you of why you are there, those glances that let you know that those kids enjoy seeing you smile, it's all worth it, even if I have bags under my eyes now that make me look like a sixty year old woman.

I'm beginning to think that teaching is some sort of drug. So many of those kids think that the universe is out to get them, and when you have those moments while they are looking at you and thinking that maybe you're actually there to help them do something, however small, it almost makes it worth it.

Low point of the day: Finding out that my classroom was broken into over the weekend, and realizing that my principal wasn't going to do a damn thing about it. He didn't even get the janitor to go knock the window back into it's frame. High point of the day: Finally figuring out why my printer at school misbehaves so frequently, and then fixing it. Apparently the roaches thought that the ink was food. They were living in my printer. They aren't anymore. I once had a similar experience with about a million ants and an Aim-a-flame on a camping trip. Four more days. I think I can make it.

Heather at 5:39 PM


I wrote two beautiful entries last night. Both of them disappeared into the abyss of a malfunctioning blog. Four more school days left. Three exams to write. It's going to be a long day.

Heather at 7:50 AM


Friday, December 13, 2002

For some strange reason my page isn't updating, so who knows if this will actually show up or not. It has been an absolute nothing of a day. The only class where I had more than fifty percent of my students was fourth period, of course, and I wanted to string them all up by their toenails by the time lunch was over. Individually, they're fine people, but as a group they are monsters.

So now I'm wasting away my "planning" period. I was supposed to meet with Mr. Liddell at the beginning of the period, but he is nowhere to be found, of course. Must be nice to be the principal and be able to be whereever you want whenever you want since you think no one ever expects you to be anywhere in particular.

One more period left, and then I can chill.

p.s. there's a new boy. crazy weird unreliable story . maybe i'll include it someday soon.

Heather at 11:49 AM


Believe it or not, there is actually a new heather poetry page. (the faint of heart should hesitate to click) Visit it at It is all old stuff so far, but new additions should be coming soon.

Heather at 9:42 AM


I am trying to change my template, and it seems like everything I am attempting is totally not working. If anyone knows of a quick and easy way to change my template to something other than the crappy pre-formatted ones available through blogger, email me at Catch you later. Three more periods to go.

Heather at 9:39 AM


Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Some days the lighting in my classroom is all off and it really fucks with my mood. I have lights out all over the place that apparently can't be fixed because of the ancient and long unrepaired wiring of the school. And on days like today, when it looks like god got really pissed off at someone and everything is that nasty-gray-brown-delta color, I think I should be in a sleeping bag, in a tent, somewhere far far away from here, with pine trees and creeks and cold weather that makes you feel cold in the right kind of way.

Carey has the best available recap of Saturday night. In case you missed it the first time, the website is

Heather at 6:53 PM


Thursday, December 05, 2002

(Composed with Ben Folds "The Luckiest" on repeat. Repeat is a wonderful and dangerous thing.)
I am supposed to be doing many things right now. Writing in my blog is not one of them. Lesson plans, take home exam, those things are high on the list. This is not. Fuck it. People say that I am cryptic. I know where I get it. So I am going to venture towards the cryptic mecca with this blog entry. If you are reading this, more than likely one of the lines below is for you. If absolutely none of them make sense, then enjoy marveling at my mental instability. (or hold out for tomorrow. Sanity typically reappears with sleep.) Jack Kerouac, eat your heart out.

Last night I was happy. The warm kind of happy where you really laugh and you really smile. Thank you to the person who will never read this that made that happiness possible.

Homemade curry is wonderful.

And thank you to the person that made me realize that I do have the balls to take people up on their offers of a post school beer. The earth didn't stop turning, and a beer turned into five hours of just hanging out, but sometimes that's all you need to remind you that the world is a pretty okay place to be. If you read this, call me. You need the details.

For the thought of the person that made me put this song on repeat in the first place, I hope you are okay. Sorry for the rude email. Sometimes it's all just too much. I felt like it was a contest to see who could get in the last blow. You won. I realize that. I'm a sore loser.

I love you, daddy. I know none of this makes sense. It's all stupid boy stuff. I'm sure you'd understand if I explained it all, but there never seems to be enough time.

Thank god I now know how to turn up the volume on my computer. I realize it wasn't rocket science, and it's sort of shameful that it took the stoner of all stoners to show me how to work it, but such things allow for rambling glorious blog entries.

For those who know and care, Jermaine was back at school today. He didn't go to prison. Three day suspension. He didn't show up for my class, but he did drop by later in the day for me to sign his excuse. I think he's fully aware of how disappointed I am in him. He could barely talk to me. I wanted to cry when I saw him sitting in the office this morning. This is why they tell you to keep professional distance. Anyone who knows me knows that it is a heather impossibility.

Life is crazy. Love is crazy. I could use more of both. Pick up your application at our regional office.

Heather at 7:22 PM


Tuesday, December 03, 2002

This silly little blog has already served its purpose. I'm not sure that there was ever a specific purpose in mind. Something about releasing stress and making the world a tiny bit better. I'm not sure that anything I've written here has done either of those things, but one of my friends has managed to say so many things that I've been too sarcastic and short-sighted to say. She now has her own blog because of this one (or so I'd like to think). You can find her ather very own blog.

The week at home seems like one big blur of cigarettes and laughter and Target and too much driving around Chattanooga. I saw Santa sky dive, always an exciting occasion. And I had moment after moment of that warm fuzzy feeling where I was really thankful that somehow I ended up with these people as my family.

Sleepy time.

Heather at 8:36 PM