Monday, December 12, 2005
And you thought the Delta was slow.
I am fairly sure that I spent my entire day reading and brainstorming. I was bored for a good part of it, sort of frustrated by the two-foot-high stack of material I was trying to work through, plagued by the thought that I won't be able to execute this program that I'm supposed to create but have a very limited understanding of.But now that I'm home, after a ten hour day, I can give myself the five seconds necessary to realize that I've done it. I've fulfilled my "next job" requirements.
1. Never had to tell anyone to sit down.
2. Never have to ask anyone to be quiet.
I haven't "arrived", but my work makes me happy, in a very cerebral can't-quite-put-my-finger-on-it sort of way. I miss my students, a lot, in a worried yet absent mother sort of way. But I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm not with them anymore, that, at best, I'm functioning as some sort of long-distance relative who only pops in for holidays.
I realize that my life is intensely boring right now. I go to work, I sneak cigarettes at the back of the building, I take long lunches and listen to Martha Stewart Radio, I go back to work, I come home and make tea and sweep the kitchen.
Things are slow here, but right now I need slow.
Heather at 5:37 PM
