Monday, February 02, 2004
How I Spent My Summer Vacation Day Skipping School
Preparation: Make sure other people are also skipping school. Form the Slacker Teachers of Greenville Club.
Step One: Sleep until noon (or until the covers become so unbelievably tangled that you think you've entombed yourself.)
Step Two: Wake up, drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, flirt with mailman.
Step Three: Watch with amazement as roommate has procured a treadmill during Skip Day. Resolve to do something similarly productive.
Step Four: Watch at least two hours of TLC.
Step Five: Get on treadmill and promptly get off when you realize 1)how ridiculous you look and 2) that you are allergic to all things aerobic.
Step Six: Go have a smoke to undo any sort of body improvement that may have taken place on the treadmill.
Step Seven: Read lovely but dark book that you've already read before (but you've become a teacher since then and have resultingly forgotten the entire plot).
Step Eight: Recall your oath of productivity. Paint "Disco Queen" picture for stupid friend who is sincerely sick and at school.
Step Nine: Have someone cook you dinner, watch American Idol, have witty conversations on the front porch.
Step Ten: Go to bed early (yeah, right), knowing that school will be waiting for you in the morning.
Heather at 7:32 PM
