Thursday, January 22, 2004
The Wish List
No one has actually asked me what I wanted for my birthday. No, it's cool. Stay where you are. I'm not hurt or anything. But for those of you who meant to get around to asking me what I wanted and it somehow slipped your mind, I thought I'd offer up a few helpful suggestions.1. Cash
When I'm wondering if I can go to Walmart and afford a box of tampons, we know that things have gotten bad. Checks will also be accepted if I can be fairly sure they won't bounce. You know who you are, you check bouncing fools.
2. Cigarettes
You pick the brand. Lights or ultra lights. Feel free to surprise me.
3. Gas for my car
Always a plus, because then I can get to work and back to make money to buy those much needed tampons.
4. Food that I wouldn't buy for myself
Can include such luxuries as ALCOHOL, the good tuna, deli lunch meat, terra chips, and all my other food fetishes that I feel evil indulging on a teacher's budget
5. AAA Batteries
See? This is inexpensive and entirely needed. You too can be part of the birthday fun!! (p.s. I've been moving the same two AAAs between the DVD remote and the bikini trimmer. It's grossing John out. Someone buy me batteries, if only for his sake.)
6. A Super Awesome Boyfriend
Yeah, it's kinda soon. But still, if you know anyone that I haven't been introduced to, we can work out a deal.
7. A day off work
This could potentially be free if you talk me into going out tonight and then convince me that I'm too good to go to work tomorrow. Not technically ON my birthday, but acceptable nonetheless.
8. Anything cute, kitschy, or antique
9. Craft supplies
Try not to be confounded by this one. Just go in Walmart, find the craft section, and put things in the cart that are colorful. It's really that simple.
Hope this helps. If you're far away and you need to mail packages, you can always email for the address.
Heather at 9:39 AM
