Tuesday, September 30, 2003
A Parent Conference (paraphrased liberally)
Teacher Person: Yeah, so your kid cheated.Boring Mommy: My baby is wonderful and beautiful and could make a perfect grade on your test if he was on fire and he'd only had an hour of sleep the night before and didn't even know what was goin to be on the test and I've never had to come to this school for anything but..
TP (interrupting): Your kid freakin cheated.
BM: I want proof that my baby cheated. I want to know exactly what you heard and exactly what you saw and the surveilance tape from the gnomes that the administration sends into your classroom and the transcript that is kept of everything that is said and...
BM: The proof is that he was getting answers from the girl in front of him.
BM: Is this true?
Shitless Kid: I ain't cheat on no test.
TP (thought bubble): Dude, he just said "aint" and used a double negative.
TP: I had all the proof I needed to give (Shitless Kid) a zero on his test.
BM: Well, he hasn't ever been in any trouble and I just want to make sure that this doesn't affect his grade because he's a good kid and he doesn't need any trouble with his grades and he needs to pass all his classes and he's a very good kid and...
TP (thought bubble): Does she breathe?
TP: Yes, ma'am. I'll allow him to retake the test individually.
SK: I ain't gonna remember what was on that test!
TP (thought bubble): No shit, kid. You freakin cheated.
Heather at 6:54 PM
