Tuesday, January 21, 2003

"It'd be 'Road Rules: The Homeless Guy'"
--- Mike, on transporting homeless people

Sometimes it's good to be the kind of person who is willing to open the door, and sometimes it isn't.

Scene 1: Man knocks on door of our hotel room. We are simply chilling. Nothing all that important going on. We answer the door for the man we have never seen before in our lives. "You got a lighter I can borrow?" "Sure," we all say, not realizing that this is the first incident in an ongoing cycle of door knocking.

Scene 2: Man returns to door, knocks again. Amber, Mike, and I do not hear the knock as we are otherwise occupied at the time. Other people, who happen to not be in the bathroom, notify us that there is someone at the door. "Shit!" we all say in unison, not exactly sure if we are indeed distressed by the fact that someone is at the door again. Man has simply come back to return the lighter. No harm done. Plus one lighter for the good guys.

Scene 3: It is later, but not by much. We are again chilling in the hotel room, watching South Park and laughing our asses off. Brad: "I think someone's knocking on the door again." Everyone else: Various responses of "I can't believe this." "We're soooo in trouble." "Don't answer it!" Meanwhile, Amber and I are frozen on the bed as John becomes the brave soul who has to answer the door. John begins to talk to the man, aka Lighter Guy. Eventually the conversation begins to seem a bit too long, a bit too drawn out. Mike is nominated as the "Go Check on John" person. Mike returns from the now closed door accompanied by a frazzled John. Lighter Guy, apparently in search of a ride (?), had shown John his driver's license in an attempt to prove that he was indeed legit, which John (along with any other normal person) confused as a request for money and/or a robbery gone terribly polite.

We still have our money. None of us were arrested. And we may in fact have returned from Memphis with more lighters than we had when we left.
Life lesson learned: Never make friends with someone who doesn't have their own lighter. It can only lead to trouble.

Heather at 2:56 PM

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