Wednesday, November 06, 2002
For those of you who are close to your families tonight, try and remember exactly how lucky you are. And exactly how hard things might be if they were too far away for a smoke on the porch or a late night trip to the carwash (I love you Ashley)Sometimes the most ordinary night in the world can make you miss everything about your life that isn't there anymore.
There are two trees that I would sell everything I own to see right now. One is in Hixson, across the street from Garner's Gymnastics, right in the spot on Hixson Pike where Amanda and I got in that wreck when we were in high school. Every year in October it turns the most wonderful colors. It's so beautiful that it looks like it is on fire, but the color lasts for weeks and weeks. Everything that I need tonight is on that road. I can get to my house, and my dad's apartment. I can go to Panera for hazelnut coffee and to Target to spend money that my mom really shouldn't give me. I can go see Todd at work. I could be within ten minutes of the four people that I love more than anything in the world. The second tree is next to the playground at Taliwa Court Addition apartments in South Knoxville. It's color isn't quite as amazing as the first, but I lived such an important part of my life within sight of that tree. And being outside at my old apartment, where I could hear the traffic on Chapman Highway and see the kids playing on the playground, and smoke my cigarette and smile that I was in that place at that time, it always meant that something was right with the world, even if that something was very very small.
I don't see how a week is going to be enough time at home for Thanksgiving. I don't see how I'm going to get back in my car and drive back to the Delta. But at this very moment, I'd give it all up to spend thirty minutes sitting at the kitchen table with my mom, or sitting on the porch with my dad and sister, or cruising around in the Jetta with Todd. Everyone has always thought that the relationship I have with my family is weird. And they are right. It is the most weird and beautiful thing I know.
Heather at 6:47 PM
