Monday, June 23, 2003

I'm really not all that bright.

So, yesterday I kept posting things like the following:

Please go to my new TypePad site!
I sold my soul to TypePad!
I want to have lots of readers and I'm under the delusion that you will read any stupid thing that I take the time to post!

The long and short of it is that all typepad sites are still password protected, whether I want you to read them or not. I'll keep you informed as to when the password protection comes down so that everyone can scurry over to see what I'm writing there.

Heather at 9:42 PM


Lame-O Documentation

I am totally lame for the following reason...

dolphins_fan26: so you going to take it easy this afternoon
magnolia_coffee: yeah. i think i'll read some. and eat some wheat thins. and attempt to kill flies in the house.

Heather at 1:43 PM


Sunday, June 22, 2003

I was bored. Very very tragically bored.

Maybe if you are bored, you'll read this mess.

Heather at 8:33 PM


Notes to Everything

Dearest Faith and Maggie:
Why does it feel like Christmas afternoon? All the presents opened, one big anti-climax after another, minutes ticking by so slowly that I'm sure my head will explode.
Concerned, Heather

Dear Computer,
Thank you for working and for PowerPoint. I will sacrifice something non-technological in your honor later this evening.
Graciously appreciative, Heather

Boy One,
Dear, sweet, pitiful Boy One. I'm sorry you have a headache and that you had to work until the wee hours. However, you did get to watch Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey while I was doing homework, and therefore, you suck.
Jealous, Heather

Boy Two,
I'm pretty sure you suck.
Flippant and losing interest, Heather

Dear Shower,
Sorry to have not visited you today. You're on the schedule for later.
Dreamily, Heather

Heather at 5:38 PM


Oh my goodness.

So, the new TypePad site is up and working and it's soooo cool that when the testing period ends and they ask me for money to keep using it, I'll probably just ask them where to send the check. Go check it out:

Again, The Magnolia Cafe

Heather at 4:31 PM


Something new and possibly interesting.

Instead of working on Task 8 (DAMNIT!), I finally got access into my new TypePad site. TypePad is going to be a blog type hosting thingie that uses all of the elements of the highly acclaimed and highly complicated MoveableType. So, I've been tweaking things just a bit and once I get Task 8 finished, I'm going to go in and make the thing fucking dazzling. In the meantime, you can visit and be jealous of me for being a beta tester. I'll post a permanent link sometime later in the day.

The Magnolia Cafe

p.s. I changed the name so that those among us who are easily confused (namely me) would be able to distinguish between the old and the new.

Heather at 9:18 AM


Saturday, June 21, 2003

How in the world do people do this?
-Throughout history there have been instances of women using all sorts of men for their own whims. Admittedly, such trends are more present in the male population and I'd be hard pressed to name five blue-blooded devious man-manipulaters (this is why the site has comments), but on to the truth of the matter.

First, a brief interlude of description:
Boy One: Not alarmingly handsome but alarmingly witty and tall. Has precisely same sense of humor as yours truly, so much so that he finds it appropriate to squeeze my leg when vastly inappropriate woman in movie theater screams, "Girl! Your boyfriend... he CRAZY!" during The Hulk. Cute in that, "ya know, I'd bet you'd still be cute when you wake up in the morning" sort of way. Drives giant truck. Has very demanding job. Has strange but entirely delightful tactile attachments.

Boy Two: Alarmingly charming and borderline gorgeous. Equally tall but not equally witty. Has already figured out that keeping me in my place could easily be a twentyfour hour a day job. Seems to have odd need to recharge his internal battery while in my presence, then expend all that energy in short bursts of flirting/ making out/ flinging me around the room. Recently unemployed and even more recently reemployed in similarly very demanding job. Has strange but occasionally delightful machismo redneck urges like four-wheeling. (?)

As for the weekend:
Friday night, Boy One took me on a hastily planned but throughly enjoyable date, complete with movie, gas station cherry coke, inappropriate conference room behavior, lots of laughter and speeding trucks. Boy One stayed really late. As in, "yes, I think it's time to make coffee" late. Boy Two was noticeably absent, having not contacted me since Thursday. However, having Boy One and Boy Two in same place at same time might have created a rather large disturbance of the "I think it's time to call the cops" variety. Saturday night, Boy One has plans to come over but gets paged to go in to work because of impending internet disaster. Boy two remains MIA until eleven pm when he abruptly appears online, chats me up about this and that, and then elects not to come over because of his post-work-stench and impending sleep deprivation. Boy one shows up online at one am, well past appropriate dating hours, to inform me of the ridiculous nature of his job and the sad news that he absolutely wont be coming over for the evening. Sunday's plans include phone calls and/or visits from both boy one and boy two. Hopefully this will all resolve itself in the near future.

And as I drive the speed limit into the Tennessee hills on Wednesday, I wanted to make sure that it had been documented that I had TWO boys after me and I elected to go home for a bit and risk one or both of them losing interest in my absence, because that is the sort of thing that happens to women who try to juggle too many men at once.

Note: The decision of whom to call Boy One and whom to call Boy Two was eventually made on the basis of chronology, despite the fact that Boy One has already played a bit of a disappearing act on me. He still came first, so he gets to be Boy One for better or worse. God, was that a wedding pun?

Heather at 11:10 PM


Friday, June 20, 2003

Home again.

Back in G'ville, waiting for something of interest to happen. Knowing full well that I don't have the number of hours in the weekend to do everything that must be done by monday morning. Summer school is playing out to be one of God's crueler jokes and/or oxymorons.

Heather at 2:37 PM


Thursday, June 19, 2003

Okay, if you spotted it during the middle of the day it looked quite different than it does right now. Which is a good thing because some god of awful-colors took control of my spirit earlier in the day and had this thing looking like a carnival ride. So, this is the template for now. I'll probably change the pic at the top with some regularity. And those boxy looking links at the top are pretty nifty but only half of them work. I'll figure out all the kinks sometime this weekend. In the meantime, enjoy.

Heather at 7:39 PM


Um, yeah, we're updating the template. Patience is a virtue.

Heather at 11:12 AM


Monday, June 16, 2003

When you're still talking about Monday as being the weekend, you can count yourself amongst the very lucky or the very delusional. Unfortunately, I find myself strongly grounded in the later group. The day has been a blur of exams and editing adventures and a thousand twenty minute naps thrown in an attempt to keep myself conscious. But I guess through all of it, I may have learned a few things. Yes, this is when I write another bulleted list and everyone groans because I have sold out yet again. Well, deal with it. And pray to god that someday you will have children so brillant that their minds will function so effeciently that they too will think in bulleted lists.

Things I have learned in the past 50 or so hours:
* Having the Good Will Hunting soundtrack in your truck might make you the coolest guy to ever walk the face of the earth.
* Having the Good Will Hunting soundtrack in your truck does not necessarily make you the coolest guy to ever walk the face of the earth.
* If you're really really trying to hide something, never admit to having it in the first place, because from that point on it's just a matter of the other person finding it.
* If you have the urge to camp, just go, and don't worry about stupid shit like where you'll get a tent. Because when you start to think, that means that you will NOT go camping, and that's just sad.
* Never tell so much of the truth that you keep yourself from having quality lie material in the future.
* Don't be the first one to call the day after, because someone you aren't expecting will answer the phone every damn time.
* Reserve the right to spend an entire day on the couch and still manage to call yourself productive with a straight face.
* Screw notecards. Who in the hell invented them in the first place?
* Don't plan two major brain-occupying events for the same weekend. You'll end up out on the porch with a friend and an increasingly empty pack of cigarettes and a sob story that nobody really wanted to hear in the first place.

Heather at 5:42 PM


Friday, June 06, 2003

Dear Readers,
I hate to do this. Really. But things are just too busy and crappy for me to update while I'm in class in Oxford. No quick internet connection in the house, no time to get to the lab and type away on frivolous things, and the list goes on.

So, this offiicially announces the temporary hiatus of Magnolia Coffee updates. Sorry for the bad news. We'll get back to writing when things are less busy.

Until then, happy living, happy flirting, and summer fun,
The Coffee Mistress

Heather at 10:52 AM